Mondays with Arijit...

Chat on Google Talk

Sharad: yo
Arijit: whats up
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: nothing much...you tell me mate
Sharad: nothing much...you tell me mate
Arijit: clearly nothing is happening
---------------------------------END OF CHAT---------------------------------

Hapshed by cellphone numbers

In my new life I spend 6 weeks in Singapore and 2 in Mumbai. In an effort to get organized in Mumbai, I started a system where I maintain cell-phone numbers of various important people in my life - cab driver, cable TV guy, internet guy, tiffin lady etc.

On arrival to Mumbai, I first call up the taxi guy. The phone is answered by a baby who starts crying after he hears my voice. I call again and the baby is still crying. No luck with the baby so I need to head out and get an auto to take me to a cab.

Then the internet guy – some real estate agent picks up.. he knows nothing about the internet guy. I then spend half the day locating the internet guy – calling the head-office, being forwarded to various regional offices none of which are applicable till finally the neighbour (Blog Detective - Shriti K) saves the day.

What the hell man….why does this happen each time. In a matter of six weeks, these guys change identity. So much for being organized!!

In Singapore, its the maids. If you don’t call them for 6 weeks, you lose them forever.

PS: Some 4 hours later, the crying child’s mom called back. She turned out to be some random chic who had no idea about Jameel Bhai.

"You made me happy"

The Sony Ericcson W880i ad is one of the most beautiful ads I have seen in a long time.

It is truly "heart-opening". The ad-film is so pure and simple, that it leaves you with a heart-warming feeling.

From a technical standpoint, the product fits beautifully into the story. Infact the dramatic focus is pretty much on the benefit of a "walkman phone".

The song "Want you to know" by The Freelance Hellraiser is so perfect again.

Great Stuff!!
PS - Dont ask me if I went and bought this phone :)

Knots & Crosses

The best part about a flight without in-flight entertainment is the opportunity to notice the people around – the families, the boss and sub-ordinate pairs, the young couples, etc.
On the famous Spicejet flight, Bangalore Mumbai, I decided to turn my attention to the dynamics between the two airhostesses since I was on the front seat and had vowed not to look back. For background check out –
http://justhapsh.blogspot.com/2007/05/hapshed-by-spice-jet.html

One of them appeared to be a seasoned campaigner, while the other was probably in her early days. It was very interesting to see how the seasoned campaigner was inducting the younger one – explaining to her how to serve passengers, make announcements, then going on to show her the view of the beautiful sky from the window etc. There was excitement all over the face of the younger one just like a schoolgirl’s first day in a new school. I was tripping on the pure innocence of all this. Felt like actually clicking a photo to capture this lovely moment. Then refrained, thinking that I may be misunderstood for a dirty lecher.

Later on, the seasoned campaigner decided to introduce the younger one to a game of “knots and crosses”. She spent about 5 minutes walking her through the rules and they started a competitive game when the younger one admitted to be ready.

Clearly the rookie was struggling. She lost to the seasoned campaigner 3 games in a row. I was sitting back secretly routing for her. In the fourth game, came her chance. She had set up the game very well and now had to cross the center cell to register her maiden win. To my shock she didn’t see it and the game ended in a draw. Damn!! I wanted to intervene and talk to the rookie about her mistake and kind of pump her up for the next game. But I was trying to give the impression that I was not watching them, so refrained from doing so.

Next game started well for her again. This time she was in a position to close out the game by putting a knot on the top right corner. I waited anxiously for her next move. She thought about it for 30 long seconds and I could see her eyes move towards the top right corner. Was this going to be the moment? YES!! She did it. But to my surprise, she didn’t realize she had won – she didn’t realize that she had three diagonal knots in a row and she had won. Oh my god – how the hell could this happen. The seasoned campaigner didn’t bother telling her and eventually went on to win. This time the urge to intervene was even stronger and my eyes caught the eyes of the seasoned campaigner – it was clear from her glare that she wanted me to mind my own business. So I held back.

Next game once again started off well for the rookie. This time something completely unpredictable happened. The seasoned campaigner who was “knots” this time, shifted to crosses to win the game without the rookie realizing. (an old trick which I have sometimes used with young cousins). This was too much for me to handle. Call me a lech or call me anything – there was no way I was going to let this pass. So I decided to hapsh!! I told the rookie what all had happened.

The outcome of this outburst was not too good. Both of them looked at me with disgust in their eyes and then changed over to another game. This time, they held the paper in such a way that I could not see!!

That ended all the entertainment for the day.

Hapshed by Spice Jet

I reached an hour early for my spicejet flight – Mumbai Bangalore. After checking in, I sat at Café Coffee Day with a friend who was able to enter the airport by flashing her “Airline Crew” batch. We were in the middle of a nice lazy conversation when suddenly the PA system went “Bomb scare in the terminal. Everyone please vacate.”

So I dragged my cabin baggage and a suit which I was carrying (since I was on my way to a wedding) and followed everyone to outside the terminal. Apparently we needed to stand there in the sun while they investigated the bomb threat. Although my flight was just 20 minutes to boarding, I didn’t expect the commotion to end for a while so we decided to venture to a dhabba nearby to have a cup of tea where we continued with the relaxed chat.

After a while, when I went to do a status check on proceedings, I found the entire place empty.

Suddenly I get a call on my hand-phone

“Is that Sharad Lal? Where are you? You are supposed to be on spice jet flight xxxx”

“Who is this?”

“I am calling from spice jet and the flight is ready to take off so please come to the boarding gate immediately”

So I rushed to the terminal and while I was on my way, I get another call from the same guy.

“WHERE ARE YOU? THE FLIGHT HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES….”

“I’m on my way. Which side is the spice boarding gate?”

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE TERMINAL IS? IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN THE MUMBAI AIRPORT?”

“Yes”

“WHY DON’T YOU KNOW ALL THIS? WHY HAVE YOU COME FOR THE FIRST TIME?”

“Ok just tell me the directions…am on my way”

“EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR YOU…WHAT ARE YOU DOING…WHY ARE YOU SO LATE…BOMB THREAT GOT OVER LONG BACK…”

While I was maneuvering through the crowd with my phone in one hand, the suit and my suitcase in the other, it suddenly struck me that that this guy is actually shouting at me. I am the customer here and why the hell is he shouting. So the Punjabi blood in me took over and I started hapshing back.

We spent the next 15 minutes hapshing each other – shouting, hanging up, threatening, blank calls, etc while I worked my way to the spicejet boarding gate. Then the moment of truth – face to face with this young man who had been hashing me.

We stared into each others eyes sizing each other up. After a 30 seconds pause, we instinctively started shouting at each other while he took me to the front of the baggage counter line. For a minute I thought - fuck the flight, let me hapsh this joker, but better judgement prevailed and I resisted the temptation. Even he realised there was very little time for drama, so he gave me one last stare and left me with this other spice jet guy who was supposed to help me get out of the maze into the plane as quickly as possible.

The other guy greeted me with “Are you Mr Sharad Lal? The whole flight has been waiting for you for 20 mins” as he ushered me through the baggage clearance area.

I came in contact with the guy checking for explosives (and more importantly cigarette lighters). For some reason even he knew I delayed the entire flight. He greeted me the same way “Are you Mr Sharad Lal. The whole flight has been waiting for you for 20 mins”

I hurried to the spice counter, where the girl greeted me with
“Mr Sharad Lal. The whole flight…….”

I got into an empty bus where even the driver knew I had delayed everyone.
“Are you Mr Sharad Lal? All passengers ………”

Then at the foot of the staircase up to the aircraft, the guy checking boarding passes said
“Mr Sharad Lal. Everyone………”

Then the air hostesses,
“Mr Sharad Lal. Everyone…….”

News travels fast for sure!!

As I entered the aircraft, I could feel the restlessness and frustration of all passengers who for sure had been informed that this delay is due to a Mr Sharad Lal (I think they always take names) who was on his way.

Luckily I was on the first seat. I immediately sat on my seat with everything in my hand. Didn’t have the heart to try and put my suitcase up in the locker or even ask the air hostess to hang my suit.

Before I could fasten my seat belt, the flight door shut and the plane took off. There was no way I was going to even move from my seat the entire journey or even look back. I sat completely still all the way to Bangalore.

Today I can sit back and see the humor in all of it!!

Just Hapshhhhhh !!!

Here goes the story....I had a blog named "My Name is Sharad". At the time, I thought the name was ok. Reactions from friends were a touch different - they hated it and minced no words in letting me know that.

Some of the rude remarks made at the time were -

1. "Stinks of Vanity"
2. "Its corny"
3. "My name is sharad....ha ha ha ha"
4. "How the hell did you think of something as stupid as this?"

I hate to admit it but I've crumbled under peer pressure and have now changed the name of my blog. I like to believe that its good that I'm still open to change and not fixed/ stubborn about my ideas.

So how did I arrive at the new name.

Well, over dinner last night, (incidently was my parents anniversary as well - God Bless them, perfect couple and fantastic parents), I was with 2 young men - Nitin Gajria aka Ganji Randi and Vineet Kumar aka Slut. They convinced me that I need to change the name of my blog and strongly suggested that its best done in a collabrative manner, expressing the least amount of confidence in my ability to coin a decent name...fair enough.

The brief was to come up with a name unique to me. The first part of the discussion didnt go very well - was a little sad to discover that the only thing unique about me was that I am bald (or rather clean shaven as I like to believe). Later on we made progress and finally arrived at the word "hapsh". Its a word I brought into the lives of the ones close to me and has been embraced by all of them ever since. So there.

What exactly does hapsh mean - maybe later.